The weirdest versions of A Christmas Carol

No one particular desires a furtherA Christmas Caroladaptation. No. A single.

Dickens’ 1843 holiday break traditional has been subject tomany(and we signify a great number of) reimaginings given that it entered the general public domain. Most of them hardly have an ounce of creativeness, although, typically just retelling the identical outdated tale though replacing its primary people with in-universe stand-ins.

There is often a Scrooge. There is often 3 ghosts. There is certainly generally a lesson about the true this means of Xmas at the stop. Unless of course it’s one particular of the wild iterations we observed, that is.

Immediately after scouring the ghosts ofA Christmas Carol‘s previous, existing, and long run, we compiled a record of the weirdest retellings we experienced entry to. Inspite of our very best endeavours at thoroughness, though, we assurance we missed several other bizarre-o takes mainly because even generating a unusual variation ofA Xmas Carolhas turn into a trope now.

Regardless, you can explain to holiday cheer to fuck off because our Scrooges are heading rogue.

The Ghost of Girlfriends Earlier(2009)

The place the ever-dwelling fuck do we even begin with this simultaneous crime and gift of cinema? 

Someway this ghost of rom-coms previous has been overlooked to the annals of history, a great deal to the aid (or most likely concerted initiatives) of its star-studded solid. With Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, Michael Douglas, and Emma Stone, there are a collective 3 Academy Awards for performing amongst the talent in this misogynistic spin onA Christmas Carol. (The movie itself only received the Ladies Movie Critics Circle’s Hall of Disgrace award, having said that.)

It can be tough to increasea lot morepoisonous masculinity to the will work of Charles Dickens. ButThe Ghost of Girlfriends Previousachieves the difficult at each change. 

McConaughey performs a womanizing photographer whose ghosts of “girlfriends” earlier would nowadays be a lot more accurately explained as his long checklist of #MeToo sexual harassment victims. Ghostly visions of his former exploits just take him as a result of the functions justifying his predatory behavior, alongside with a rainstorm of the literal tears from women of all ages he emotionally abused and mistreated, as well as his lonely long run if he (by all accounts rightfully) loses the girl of his desires to a man who’s essentially good. 

It can be a well timed tale about forgiving homophobic and transphobic misogynists who confront zero outcomes and progress but are self-pitying ample to feign betterment. Or, from a diverse standpoint, it is the horror story of a lady obtaining negged into a poisonous relationship.

“Cybernetic Ghost of Xmas Past,”Aqua Teenager Hunger Drive(2002)

In some way, this is not the only entry on our list with a robotic ghost of Xmas earlier. 

Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s model tells the origin tale for a variety of Christmas traditions, like outdated Saint Nick and gift-providing (in addition to a severalChristmas Carolnods). Apparently very long back there was an ape named Sir Santa of Claus who enslaved elves and compelled them to make toys out of his personal shit and dinosaur bones. Then Santa turned a robotic (never check with inquiries). 

Anyway, Carl’s home is haunted by swimming pools of elf blood mainly because it truly is wherever it all took place. The ethical of the tale is that elf blood is a great way to elevate the assets price on your residence.

“Christmas Carol and “Emily,”X-Documents(1997)

In the beginning influenced by the 1951 movieScrooge, this two-parter was an attempted then in the long run abandoned Xmas premise exactly where Scully would acquire on the purpose of Alastair Sim’s iconic character. 

In its final model, Christmas serves only as a backdrop to a plot that quite loosely pays homage toA Xmas Carol, with Scully looking at flashbacks and meeting distinctive “versions” of her deceased sister.

“A Really Sunny Christmas,” It’s Constantly Sunny in Philadelphia (2010)

Never change, Frank.

Never ever alter, Frank.

Impression: fx

The gang’s edition of “A Xmas Carolbullshit” is correctly fucked. Also correctly, Frank performs Scrooge and, if anything, improvements for the even worse by the end. 

Dee and Dennis hatch up elaborate Dickens-esque strategies to make him come to feel bad for always giving them awful Xmas gifts. But Frank proceeds to try out to stab his ghost of Xmas earlier (and outdated business husband or wife). His ghost of Christmas current entails sewing himself into the couch for the duration of an business office occasion, ending in him bursting from the sofa completely nude and storming off.

You can hazard a guess at how profitable his ghost of Christmas Long run — a headstone that reads “he was a dick of a father” — winds up getting.

Frank leaves in the new Lamborghini that Dennis had desired for Christmas.

“Oh Crap, A Bunch Much more Lousy Stuff Just Occurred,”I Believe You Should Leave(2019)

The Bone Brigade Army eats holiday cheer for breakfast.

The Bone Brigade Military eats getaway cheer for breakfast.

Image: netflix

This taped PBS exclusive-seeking sketch begins with the conceit of a drained, previousA Christmas Caroladaptation. But Scrooge’s Xmas epiphany is interrupted by an aggro, mech-accommodate carrying time traveler (Veep‘s Sam Richardson) crashing via the wall to alert him about the apocalyptic Xmas in 3050. 

Introducing himself as the Ghost of Xmas Waaaay Long run, he requires Scrooge aid defeat the Bone Brigade by killing their chief, Skelatrex, who’s fifteen feet tall with bones the dimension of tree trunks.  

There is certainly not a whole lot of identifiable Christmas tie-in here. But Scroogedoesconquer down an animated skeleton with his cane, which is my definition of vacation entertaining.

Ms. Scrooge, Usa Network (1997)

Ms. Ebeneta Scrooge will surprise you.

Ms. Ebeneta Scrooge will surprise you.

Image: united states community

The true bizarreness of this one is that it really is… basically not that negative?

This race and gender-flipped version ofA Christmas Carolstars Oscar-nominated Cicely Tyson as a profitable but cruel moneylender Ebeneta Scrooge. Compared with lots of other gender and/or race flipped retellings,Ms. Scroogeat the very least tries to deal with race and course politics (even though with varying degrees of good results).

The difficult-hearted Ebeneta is confronted with her childhood traumas, acknowledging how developing up impoverished produced her place economical security and independence above all else. It addresses the harsh realities of the double-edged sword that is upward mobility, and how it can alienate you from the neighborhood you grew up with. There is certainly even a superb sermon from a reverend who tends to make salient details about the nature of sin in the context of have to have.

Really don’t get us wrong —Ms. Scroogestill misses the mark typically. For one, all of Ebeneta’s Christmas ghosts who teach her a lesson are, uh, white (massive nope). But, all in all, we would endorse supplying this underrated adaptation a enjoy.

“Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge,” Epic Rap Battles of History (2013)

On the sheer basis of surreal foresight by yourself, this one particular wins arms down. 

Pre-relationship equally Trump’s presidential campaign and Kanye West’s inexplicable help of him, this historic rap struggle parody options each as the ghost of Christmas earlier and upcoming (respectively). They are hoping to present Scrooge how he is gonna die a depressing, lonely aged grump. 

Appears like the Donald should’ve taken his personal information!

A Solstice Carol,”Xena: Warrior Princess(1996)

Pre-Christian Santa Claus is savage.

Pre-Christian Santa Claus is savage.

Graphic: syfy /  Renaissance Pictures

Absolutely nothing about a Xena Christmas unique really should get the job done. But it definitely fucking does.

A pagan spin on the Christmas tale, Xena is tasked with convincing a curmudgeonly king to finish his ban forbidding topics from celebrating the winter season solstice (with stockings, pine trees, ornaments and all). She does so by staging some performs for him in his bed room with the enable of her companion Gabrielle and none other than Santa Claus himself.

Of course, which is proper. Xena teams up with Santa Claus — or relatively the name he apparently went by in pre-Christian occasions: Senticles. Positive, it fudges the timeline on our modern traditions. But it’s a correct Christmas miracle!

A Carol Christmas, Hallmark Channel (2003)

The real Scrooge of Christmas is feminism!

The genuine Scrooge of Christmas is feminism!

Picture: RHI Leisure and Distribution / hallmark

We only selected one of thewild will take onA Xmas Carolfrom the Hallmark Channel, just for the sake of house and our sanity.

But apart from this a person there is also 1995’sEbbie, with another gender-flipped Scrooge which is a high-driven company lady performed by Susan Lucci. Advertised as “a traditional Christmas story for a modifying globe,” it as a substitute demonizes a woman for caring a lot more about her job than her boyfriend.

But 2003’sA Carol Xmascan take the cake on the foundation of its forged.

Tori Spelling stars as a signify-spirited movie star chat display host who’s frequented by Gary Coleman (of  Diff’rent Strokesfame) as the Ghost of Xmas Past and William Shatner (ofStar Trekfame) as the Ghost of Christmas Existing. As with most gender-flippedA Xmas Carols, this one particular also demonizes a job woman by implying that the moral of the story is sticking to gender roles a lot more.

Beam me up to the North Pole, Scottie.

Twelve Hundred Ghosts – A Christmas Carol in Supercut,Heath Waterman (2016)

This fifty three-minute supercut compiles 400+A Christmas Caroladaptations alongside one another, supplying you a feeling of just how vast and endless this hole seriously is. 

Noticeable masochist and genius Heath Waterman expended around a 12 months seeing distinctive iterations ofA Xmas Carol throughout all mediums — Television, audiobooks, comedian guides, porn — to splice clips alongside one another into a semi-coherent new narrative. It truly is a feat of willpower and modifying. 

But also, it is a testomony to just how desperately we require to both go on fromA Christmas Carolor, do a little something odd with it if you have to.